Vin And The Kentucky Waterfall

Bringing The Rainbow Suspenders Out Of Retirement

I hope Method Man and Redman brought their watermelon proof ponchos. Shouldn't events like this be treated the same as monkey knife fights and cat juggling. You know only legal in international waters and Tijuana.

Answer Your Phone

This is my friend Chris. Recently he's decided to not answer his phone, or return phone calls. Feel free to drunk dial him at 3 in the morning. (714) 944-416*. I'm not totally heartless, you figure out the last number, hint it's betweein 1 and 9!!!

The Results Of Getting Your Sizzurp On.

OMGZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

When I came up with new ideas for kids shows, I simply set my brain to retard (which isn't hard to do) and came up with the dumbest ideas I could think of. Looks like Hollywood beat me to the punch. LOL Simon Rex.

Currently Hating

That's right, I hate this kid! Before you say "wow you're a jerk Andy" youtube this annoying brat and you will be searching for the nearest screwdriver to stick in your ear. Seriously try to watch more than 45 seconds of his whining. I wish Brock Lesnar would put his elbow through the soft spot on his head. DIE CAILLOU!


I really don't like this guy and his stupid show. Good for you! You managed to find the 5 pit bulls on earth that don't want to bite your face off. Blah blah blah insert Michael Vick joke here.


Are there not enough lame white actors in Hollywood? Honda felt the need to go out and create a cartoon of a lame white guy? TOYOTA FTW!

Your Dad Wears This

Something happens to men when they turn 60. All of their shorts and pants get pleats and they wear Court Classics shoes. I am going to open up a shop across the street from Leisure World that sells only these things. I bet old people wish they sold Court Classics in black so they could wear them to church. I have never seen a black man in Court Classics, that is going to be my new goal, track down a black man in Court Classics.

Really Carla?

Mrs. Neggers here is one vowel away from the most offensive last name ever. Authors are notorious for writing under pseudonyms, you would think her agent would have recommended one here. Maybe Neggers is a fake name, maybe her real name is Carla Fartjuggs.

You Won't Learn Anything Here, Just My Complaints

I've never understood why Michigan and Ohio are called the Midwest. Why aren't Nebraska and the Dakotas considered the Midwest? They are much closer to the west than the other two. I have included a map to further explain my problem. Colombus Ohio is much closer to New York than Los Angeles.

The Cult Of The Train

Rivers is really into trains lately, so about once a week I take him down to the train station. There is this group of people that sit in front of the snack bar and discuss trains. They don't go anywhere, they just sit there discuss all things train. They give me the stink eye for invading their space most of the time. Yesterday they discussed the Riverside Rail Fest and how much fun it would be to ride the train to Utah. They don't use real names, there was about 7 of them and they all had weird pet names that they had for each other. One of them was "Scooter Boy", sure enough Scooter Boy rode a women's Trek mountain bike. I had to sneak this shot over my shoulder as they were getting wise to me. I'm probably on the AmTrak no ride list now. When people have sex on an airplane they join the mile high club, these winners probably dream of joining the twelve foot high club.

For The Kids

Rivers watches a program called Dinosaur Train on PBS. I can't imagine the creative meeting lasting more than 2 minutes. Well kids like dinosaurs, and they love trains, I GOT IT, DINOSAUR TRAIN. Genius Thompson, run with it!!! I decided to lend the brain trust over at PBS some extra ideas.


Avast ye matey! We be the french fry pirates, we be sailing the seas in search of catsup!!


Ding Dong!! Who's at the door kids? It's pizza spaghetti delivery monkey! Tune in each week as this gentle ape delivers goodness to all the good girls and boys!


FEAR DOES NOT BELONG IN THIS DOJO DOES IT? Ruf Ruf Sensei! Puppy Karate Master combines the worlds of puppies and kung fu. You don't want to be on the business end of those kicks!

They're Real And They're Spectacular

The Craft Services table on Seinfeld must have been stocked with magic, because most of the cast looks better now than they did then. It didn't help that all the women wore jeans with a waist that came up to their neck.















Sike! Not so fast Costanza, you look horrible.

Time To Dive On The Grenade

I've had bad writers block when it comes to this blog lately so it's time to hit that slump buster. I think it's too easy to pick on the Insane Clown Posse but I'll take anything I can get right now. What kind of functioning level of retardation are these boys operating on? I am going to cut out a picture of these two and put it on my bathroom mirror so anytime I am feeling down on my self I can look at that and say "well at least I'm not one of these two".

All Time Top 5 Places To See A Concert

Between the ages of 21 and 28 I could be found at the Troubadour every weekend. It's nice and small but very loud. There are all these mini secret bars tucked everywhere. You can have the dirtbag bars on the strip. I'll take the Troubadour and the clean environment of gay West Hollywood.

It's always easy to remember where the Wiltern is. It's name is just the cross streets put together, Wilshire and Western. The inside has a neat old Hollywood feeling and you can eat dinner at El Cholo across the street before the show starts.

All signs would point to the House of Blues Anaheim to being lame. It's in Disneyland, tourists from Oklahoma with mulletts and tanktops everywhere and I have horrible guilt to tip the mens room attendant too much so I end up holding it in. There is a nice feeling inside, like a VFW Hall or Elks Lodge from somewhere back east.

The old home to the Lakers, The Fabulous Forum is now a church. They still let rock bands have shows there though. The great thing is there is no advertising anywhere and you get to relive your childhood "Showtime" memories.

The sound at the Hollywood Bowl is weak, the seats are terrible and you need a Sherpa with a pack mule just to get up that hill. The atmosphere is the best in all of Southern California though.

Why?

Clay Aiken

Is looking a lot less like a man every day.

My Hair Product...

...is way more cholo than yours.

This Guy

No, i'm not talking about the czar of the telestrator there. The piece of work in the red shirt. Los Angeles is home to some of the most beautiful people in the world and every Laker game I am treated to this. Are his seats so expensive that he can't afford a modern haircut? That is the goatee they put on Michael Knight when he was evil Knight Rider.

Why Does Kendra Have An Assistant? She Doesn't Do Anything.

What was the budget for this intro, $4.37? They couldn't even give Kendra a jersey with her name sewn onto it. They had to superimpose her name.

What's Worse Than An Insane Clown?

A posse of insane clowns! I think Chris Rock said that if you have a daughter it is your job to keep her off the pole. I have a son and I think it is my job to keep him out of Spencer Gifts.

The Old Guy That Works In The Warehouse On The Office And Lee Corso

Twins seperated at birth.

Wrong, Kathy

My friend Kathy thinks the McDonalds cheeseburger / ice cream cone combo is the best fast food deal there is. This combo is one thousand times awesomer.

Le Awesome

Let's crank up the flux capacitor because we're traveling back to 1985. America was still on a high from the 84 olympics, Nancy Reagan was keeping our youth off drugs, and the Lakers finally beat the Celtics in the finals. Red, white and blue was all the rage, just not the American kind. All things French were hot! Our mountains were festooned by Le Coq Sportif. Nobody could resist Vuarnet. Even Vision Street Wear marketed a line of berets to the skateboarding youth. Then it all went away. I blame Le Car. On a totally unrelated note, if I was an MMA cage fighter my nickname would be "Le Coq".

This Is How We Do It In The O.C. Bitch

Give it a stern warning shirts just wouldn't sell I guess. Why does the skeleton need brass knuckles?

All Time Top 5 Or 6 Or 7

Seduced By A Frenchmen

A Game Of Honor And Diplomacy

Every time I try to embed the Bat Fight video it gives me the Landlord. So just do yourself a solid and google Bat Fight.

Man Vs Go Away

Was there really a need for another Guy Fieri? I swear you could fill a taco shell with cat poop ad this guy would think it's the greatest thing ever.

Whatever Happened To...

No Seriously, where is Cherokee Parks?